a profession deck

The Teacher Arcana

A 22-card Major Arcana for the people who buy their own dry-erase markers and still show up Monday. Funny, true, and — when you least expect it — a little bit moving. Flip a card for its upright and reversed reading.

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cinematic edition · deco-noir key art, rendered card by card
The New Teacher — illustrated tarot card, arcanum 0
· 0 ·The New Teacher
· 0 ·
The New Teacher
in the place of the fool
upright
Bright-eyed, over-laminated, and already in love with a class that has not yet eaten you alive.
reversed
Cried in the supply closet by October. Specifically the 14th. You counted.
The First-Year Magician — illustrated tarot card, arcanum I
· I ·The First-Year Magician
· I ·
The First-Year Magician
in the place of the magician
upright
You can make a working lesson out of one glue stick, a YouTube clip, and pure adrenaline.
reversed
The Smartboard froze, the lesson died with it, and twenty-six kids watched you pretend that was the plan.
The Veteran in Room 12 — illustrated tarot card, arcanum II
· II ·The Veteran in Room 12
· II ·
The Veteran in Room 12
in the place of the high priestess
upright
She knows which kid did it, which copier jams, and which admin email to ignore. She knows.
reversed
Hoarding the good scissors and a 1998 grudge, both still sharp.
The Classroom Mother — illustrated tarot card, arcanum III
· III ·The Classroom Mother
· III ·
The Classroom Mother
in the place of the empress
upright
Snacks for the hungry, Band-Aids for the dramatic, and somehow a hug ready for the kid who didn't ask for one.
reversed
Out of granola bars. Out of patience. Out of the $47 she spent in September and is not getting back.
The Principal — illustrated tarot card, arcanum IV
· IV ·The Principal
· IV ·
The Principal
in the place of the emperor
upright
Keeper of the master schedule, the parking-spot policy, and the ability to walk into your lesson at the exact worst moment.
reversed
An email at 4:58 on a Friday: mandatory professional development, Saturday, attendance taken.
The Curriculum Binder — illustrated tarot card, arcanum V
· V ·The Curriculum Binder
· V ·
The Curriculum Binder
in the place of the hierophant
upright
The pacing guide descends like scripture: thou shalt teach fractions by October 14th, regardless of where the children are.
reversed
Three years outdated, still mandatory, blessed be the district.
The Co-Teacher Pairing — illustrated tarot card, arcanum VI
· VI ·The Co-Teacher Pairing
· VI ·
The Co-Teacher Pairing
in the place of the lovers
upright
You finish each other's transitions, split the lunch duty, and have silently agreed never to discuss whose turn it is to call the parent.
reversed
One of you plans everything; the other one “facilitates.”
The Field Trip — illustrated tarot card, arcanum VII
· VII ·The Field Trip
· VII ·
The Field Trip
in the place of the chariot
upright
Forty kids, one bus, and the iron will to return with all forty and zero additional children.
reversed
Lost a permission slip, gained a kid who threw up by the aquarium.
The Classroom Management — illustrated tarot card, arcanum VIII
· VIII ·The Classroom Management
· VIII ·
The Classroom Management
in the place of strength
upright
You quieted thirty children with one raised eyebrow and zero raised voice. They will tell their own children about this someday.
reversed
Bribing them with a movie because it's the day before break and so are you.
The Planning Period — illustrated tarot card, arcanum IX
· IX ·The Planning Period
· IX ·
The Planning Period
in the place of the hermit
upright
One holy hour alone to grade, breathe, and remember you're a person.
reversed
Covered another class. Ate a granola bar standing over a copier. The hour you planned around does not exist.
The Master Schedule — illustrated tarot card, arcanum X
· X ·The Master Schedule
· X ·
The Master Schedule
in the place of wheel of fortune
upright
The new rotation drops and your whole life realigns to a spreadsheet's whim.
reversed
Lunch at 10:42 and a split class you found out about today.
The IEP Meeting — illustrated tarot card, arcanum XI
· XI ·The IEP Meeting
· XI ·
The IEP Meeting
in the place of justice
upright
You advocate, you document, you fight for the kid who needs it most — in a folding chair, ninety minutes, fluorescent lights on full.
reversed
Twelve adults, ninety minutes, one accommodation, fourteen acronyms.
Grading at 11 PM — illustrated tarot card, arcanum XII
· XII ·Grading at 11 PM
· XII ·
Grading at 11 PM
in the place of the hanged man
upright
Suspended in time and tea, you sacrifice your evening so they get feedback by Monday.
reversed
“I'll just grade a few” became forty essays and a 1 AM Reddit thread about other careers that didn't help.
The End of the Unit — illustrated tarot card, arcanum XIII
· XIII ·The End of the Unit
· XIII ·
The End of the Unit
in the place of death
upright
You finally retire the lesson that died in third period. Something better is coming. Probably. The standards say so.
reversed
Reteaching the whole thing because the data said you must. The data is not sorry.
The Sub Plans — illustrated tarot card, arcanum XIV
· XIV ·The Sub Plans
· XIV ·
The Sub Plans
in the place of temperance
upright
A flawless folder of seating charts and fire-drill maps so the building survives your sick day.
reversed
You woke up sick, wrote the sub plans anyway, decided they were more work than just going in, and went in. With a fever.
The Copier — illustrated tarot card, arcanum XV
· XV ·The Copier
· XV ·
The Copier
in the place of the devil
upright
One machine holds the whole school hostage and it knows exactly when you have a quiz.
reversed
Paper jam in tray 2, four minutes to the bell. You abandon the quiz entirely.
The Fire Drill — illustrated tarot card, arcanum XVI
· XVI ·The Fire Drill
· XVI ·
The Fire Drill
in the place of the tower
upright
Mid-lesson, mid-breakthrough, mid-sentence — the alarm screams and thirty-one kids forget everything you just did.
reversed
Indoor recess on top of it. Thirty-one children, one room, a decibel level that rings until Thursday.
The Thank-You Note — illustrated tarot card, arcanum XVII
· XVII ·The Thank-You Note
· XVII ·
The Thank-You Note
in the place of the star
upright
A crayon scrawl — “your my favrit teacher” — and suddenly the whole year was worth it.
reversed
You found it cleaning out a drawer in June and had to sit down.
The Parent Email — illustrated tarot card, arcanum XVIII
· XVIII ·The Parent Email
· XVIII ·
The Parent Email
in the place of the moon
upright
“Just checking in!” — three words hiding a meeting, a complaint, and a CC to the principal.
reversed
Read it at 9 PM, drafted six replies, sent none, slept zero.
The Snow Day — illustrated tarot card, arcanum XIX
· XIX ·The Snow Day
· XIX ·
The Snow Day
in the place of the sun
upright
The text arrives at 5 AM: school's closed. Pure, unearned, golden joy. Back to bed.
reversed
“Asynchronous learning day.” They still log on. You still have to be available. A snow day with homework.
The Former Student Returns — illustrated tarot card, arcanum XX
· XX ·The Former Student Returns
· XX ·
The Former Student Returns
in the place of judgement
upright
They're grown, doing great, and came back to tell you that you mattered. Worth every supply-closet October.
reversed
“You probably don't remember me—” You do. You always do.
The Last Day of School — illustrated tarot card, arcanum XXI
· XXI ·The Last Day of School
· XXI ·
The Last Day of School
in the place of the world
upright
The final bell, the empty room, the summer stretching out like a gift you earned. Completion.
reversed
Already got the “back to school” email. It's literally June 6th.
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